Life Lessons Lifestyle

Bumbai You Learn – Stories From My Dad

Photo Credit: Sons & Daughters Photography

My Dad is a Filipino-American who immigrated to Hawai’i in the ’70s, when many other Asians were immigrating to work on the pineapple fields and sugar cane plantations. My Dad is a simple man. He doesn’t care for fancy things or going out. His favorite pastime is sitting in the garage and “talking story” with his friends. If you visited my parents house in Honolulu today, there’s an old double door fridge in the garage full of beer — Heineken, Michelob, Corona, & Bud Light (his favorite). As soon as you arrive, he’ll offer you a beer. Kasla mayora, my mom says. (As if he’s running for mayor.) If you sit and talk with him a while, he’ll talk your ear off. He can speak perfect English, but when he’s talking story, he has a heavy Filipino/pidgin accent. He has so many random life stories. Stories I’ve heard so many times it used to make me roll my eyes, but now that I’m older, listening him retell them makes me smile.

Growing up, I’d get annoyed listening to him ramble on and on, going from one story to the next. You can tell when he’s excited about a story — his voice gets louder, his actions more animated. He’s always telling the same ones over and over again, I never understood why until I got older and lived through some of my own.

A lot of the things I learned about my Dad, I overheard while he was talking story with my Uncles or his friends. Some of his stories were about life in the Philippines. How difficult life was, how he survived. Others were about his immigration to Hawai’i. How he came here with nothing, how he had to work hard and how he faced difficulties as an immigrant. And of course there were the crazy drunk stories. “One day me and your Unko…” — those were my favorite.

But there were specific stories that he directed at me and my sister — the life lesson stories. He never framed them that way, but he would say, “Bumbai you learn.” ‘Bumbai,’ pronounced buhm-bye, is a pidgin word that translates to later on. ‘Bumbai you learn’ loosely translates to, ‘maybe later, you’ll understand.’ He told us about the mistakes he made, the things he wished he could’ve done. The opportunities that he never got to have because “it wasn’t in the cards.”

My parents, especially my Dad, always encouraged us to go after what we wanted. Growing up, we didn’t have a lot, but they managed to make things happen. When my sister and I wanted to take dance classes, we danced. When I wanted to play piano, I got lessons. When I wanted a computer, we got an old hand me down desktop. When I wanted to leave Hawai’i for college, he convinced my mom to let me go.

“You can do aaanything you like,” he’d say. “But whatever you do, do your best.”

I inherited a lot of things from my dad. His tan complexion and affinity for alcohol. His carefree attitude, his love of people, and his steadfast confidence that everything will work out. But had my dad not pushed me when I was scared and scolded me when I doubted myself, I would have never taken the risks that I have or made the moves that I did.

I can still hear my dad sighing in frustration every time my lack of self confidence held me back. I know now, it was because he always saw in me the things that would take years for me to see myself. I moved away from Hawai’i when I was 17 and years later when I was home visiting, he talked about what it was like raising me and my sister. In what may be one of the most raw moments we’ve had, he said, “You know, we never knew what we were doing, but we tried our best.”

Well Daddy, I just want you to know, you and Mom did good. We turned out okay and . Happy Father’s Day.

Life Lessons Lifestyle

A Letter to My New College Graduate Self

Dear 2012 Roxy,


It’s May 12, 2012. I know this day felt like it would never come. You spent the last year and a half pulling all-nighters, crying, and wondering if you’ll ever graduate or get a job. Well it’s 2017, 5 years later, and damnit, it was all worth it. Today is bittersweet – you finally did it, but you’re faced with a huge life decision. The best thing you could hear right now is this – just trust yourself.


2017 is amazing. You get the ‘dream job’ you wanted, the city apartment with the walk in closet, and you even the car you always wanted (you named her RiRi LOL). You’re one of the rare few who can say you love what you do and you get paid pretty damn well for it. But you’re about to walk into one of the worst seasons of your life. 2012 – 2013 ill be a series of ups and downs and I wish so much that somebody was there to give you some advice and tell you it’s gonna be okay.



Sometimes you can be emotionally inept. It’s only because you feel everything so deeply that it’s almost easier to ignore. When you hit a rough patch, your first instinct always says, black it out and run away. You’ll literally try to run away to another city for a weekend or drown your sorrows in alcohol. I just want you to know, it’s okay to be hurt. To feel hurt. But no matter how many out of town trips you take or bottles you drink, you will have to deal with it sooner or later. The sooner you confront it, the faster you can move on. But also know, it gets better. Feel all the emotions, but don’t let it rule you. Embrace who you are and don’t be ashamed. You’re a little weird and a complete child at heart – smile big and laugh loudly (I think people secretly love it).



You will have a bad case of Imposter Syndrome. You were always the awkward, smart girl in high school but when you get to college, you’ll realize, you’re just average and the awkwardness feels magnified. It’ll start in your engineering classes – you’re only one of a handful of girls and those engineering guys never make eye contact or speak to you in class. It’ll continue into your career when people say things like, “Oh you don’t look like an engineer..” or “You’re not technical enough.” You are beautiful and smart and you are more than enough. You’ve always worked hard to earn your place, don’t you dare apologize for it.



You will have several life decisions in the next few years and whenever you have a big life decision to make, in true Roxy fashion, you will avoid and defer. But I want you to know that one thing is always true when it comes to these decisions:

Your gut instinct is always right.

Whenever you come to a fork in the road, one decision will be safe and comfortable. The other will be scary and give you that knot in your stomach that comes right before a big roller coaster drop. You will always hesitate and overthink, but your gut knows what you have to do –


Close your eyes, hold on for dear life and wait for the drop.


It’s worth it every time. Promise.


You lucked out in pretty much every other area in your life except this one. You have a huge heart and horrible taste in men, but I think your gut also knows they weren’t right. Boys will say a lot of things, but try to remember to

watch what they do and not what they say.


You wear your heart on  your sleeve and come off as intense (see point one on emotions), but when you do love, you love hard. You’ll have a thing for douchebags and guys who just aren’t ready, but don’t let the bad apples make you bitter. The right guy will show up and stick around. If he doesn’t do either, you know what to do.



Adulting sucks and life is hard, but always be thankful and enjoy the ride. You’ll come such a long way from nerdy Coke bottle glasses Roxy – from that little old house in Kalihi Valley all the way to Dallas, Texas to be exact. You will hear over and over again that you’re too something” – too young, too inexperienced, too sensitive, too nice, or even too much. Don’t listen. Pray more, pull no punches, and don’t apologize for who you are. You won’t regret it.


2017 Roxy


P.S. Be fierce, but stay kind – the world needs less assholes.


Adulting Money Matters Organization

How I Made $1700+ Selling My Old Stuff on Poshmark: The Average Jane’s Guide to Poshmark


I recently posted on Instagram that I got rid of a lot of stuff on Poshmark and got a ton of questions asking who/what/where/when/why so I thought I’d put together a mini FAQ for the Poshmark noosbs or just those who wanted to know how I did it. If you haven’t signed up, use code SHER0XXfor a $5 credit! (I swear I didn’t choose that code! 🙈)

If you think this is some get rich quick scheme, it’s not. I earned $1700+ over the course of a year and a half and most of the work was pretty passive. Like any other average girl, I have a lot of stuff I really don’t need or use but I have a hard time letting stuff go because I either a) think I’m going to use it later (NEWSFLASH: you won’t) or b) feel bad donating it because I spent so money on it. I’ve tried selling things to stores like Plato’s Closet but it always feels like such a waste of time. I still do that from time to time, but I found Poshmark to be a better alternative.


I actually joined Poshmark back in 2012 but wasn’t an active seller until late 2015 and didn’t even make my first purchase until 3 weeks ago in early 2017! I haven’t sold everything I’ve ever posted and sometimes I really just want to get rid of stuff for the closet space and to clear the clear so I’ll end up donating things I don’t feel like are going to sell. Like I mentioned before, I’ve made $1700+ over the course of a year and a half I made $800+ in the month of January because I’ve been selling my high end/limited edition makeup collection.


But let’s get down to the nitty gritty, the reason you came here – The Poshmark 411.


The Poshmark app’s home screen.


    Poshmark is an app used to buy and sell clothing, shoes, bags, accessories, etc. It originally started as an app for women but they eventually expanded to men’s and children’s stuff.


    It’s FREE to download the app and join.  They do take a cut out of anything sold. It’s not confirmed anywhere, but it seems like the pricing is as follows:

    • 20% for any item sold over $15
    • Flat $2.95 for anything under $15

      As a buyer, it costs a flat $5.95 for shipping and it’s free for items over $500. They even include authentication on items over $500 (think LV purses, Louboutins shoes). I personally hate paying for shipping and $5.95 is a little steep for smaller items, but the upside is, it’s 3 Day shipping so once the seller drops it off at the post office, it’s delivered within 2-3 days!


        Click the “Sell” icon, add pictures, and fill out the required fields. The more fields you add, the more likely you’re item will come up in a search. Be honest about the item – Are there any defects? Is it true to size? How often has it been used? The worst thing you can do is lie or deceive a customer! Selling imitation or fake items are also against the rules. I feel like it’s a given in this day and age, but the pictures are everything. Take clear pictures and be honest about where defects are. If you look at my listings (@sher0xx) obviously, I am not a professional photographer and I did get kind of lazy posting so many items, but I tried to get them as focused as possible and in the best lighting.

The sell icon at the bottom menu on the home screen.


      Share your posts (and other seller’s posts!) as often as you can. Sharing a post bumps your listing to the top of the feed for your followers and the more people who see your listing, the more likely you’re able to sell. If someone share’s my post, I try to share one of there’s – it’s kind of a way to say thank you. You can also share your posts to parties, if there’s one going on.

The share button can be found at the bottom right of a listing


      A Posh Party is a designated time to share specific things. For example, there can be a “Best In Makeup” party at 2 PM. The party will go on for 2 hours and during that time window, you can share items that fit the description of allowed items. When you view the party info, it’ll tell you what categories are allowed. If you try to share something that doesn’t fit the description, an error message will pop-up. Parties are a good way to advertise because often times people will share items they like that they find in the party.

Poshmark Party homepage


      I don’t know if liking a post has any effect on where the listing falls in search results, but I do know if you like a post, you get notifications about it. If the seller drops the price, you get a notification, and if you’re lucky, discounted or even free shipping! I ended up buying the coat in the picture because I got a notification that the seller dropped the price AND it got free shipping – I legit only paid $10 for it and got it within 2 days!

    • HOW TO BUY

      There are two options to purchasing items: Buy Now or Offer. A bonus option is bundling.

        1. Buy Now

          Self-explanatory. You buy it now! Buy Now takes you to a payment screen to verify your shipping and payment information. You can pay with either credit card, Venmo, or PayPal.

        2. Offer

          If you click the “Offer” link instead of “Buy Now” it takes you to an eBay-esque screen where you can bid on the item. Once you submit an offer, the offer is binding and if the seller accepts, you will automatically be charged. Offers are nice because you get to haggle with the seller a little, but as a seller you can get some lowballers, which are not fun at all. Here’s a handy little chart I found and agree on:


      Bundling is when you purchase multiple items from the same seller. I’ve sold bundles before but haven’t personally purchased one myself. Some shops will have automatic discounts if you bundle (for example mine is 15% 2+ items). Purchasing bundles also has the Buy Now or Offer options.


Often times, other ‘Poshers’ (Poshmark users) will comment on items they’re interested asking, “Trade?” Trading is not encouraged by Poshmark, but it seems like what people will do is pick which items they’re trading for, post a listing for really cheap (usually less than $5), and purchasing it will generate the shipping label. I guess ideally, you’re just paying for shipping. I personally have not done it and am not interested because my purpose is to get rid of items on the app. I have considered it, but never really saw anything that was, in my opinion, worth trading for.


      So you finally sold an item, what now? Ship it! I do a lot of online ordering so I have small boxes lying around that I’ll recycle and use for shipment. I sold a lot of my makeup collection and since those items are particularly fragile, I had to ship them in bubble wrapped envelopes.



      The size I used most was the 4×8 (#000), you can get them on amazon for $7.99 for 50 or search for a size that you need. I am conscious that buying shipping materials essentially takes a cut of the profit so I try to recycle boxes as much as I can. You do want to be considerate of your customer and not send them jacked up boxes either!

Click “Yay I shipped it!” to notify the buyer it was shipped

Tracking information from a seller’s point of view.


      Once you ship the items, a notification is sent to the seller and the item can be tracked either in the app or on using the link that was emailed. As a seller, you have 7 days to ship the item, otherwise the transaction is cancelled. You do have the options to click the “Yay I shipped it!” button in sale, but if it isn’t scanned by USPS within 7 days, it’s not considered shipped. It takes about 2 – 3 days shipping for the items to arrive and once the tracking marks the item as ‘Delivered’ the buyer has 3 days to accept the package in the app and release the funds to the seller. If it’s not accepted in 3 days but marked as delivered, the funds are automatically delivered to the seller.

Pending acceptance from buyer.


    I’m definitely a fan of the payment structure in Poshmark. I’ve sold on eBay before and they only release funds once a month. Another thing about Poshmark vs. eBay is that Poshmark takes their cut up front, whereas eBay charges you separately. There’s good and bad in both of those, but since my sales aren’t usually very high priced, I personally like the fact that the app tells me up front what cut they’re taking and takes it out up front.

    In Poshmark, once the items have been accepted, the payment is redeemable right away. As far as I know, there’s no limit to how many times you can redeem funds in a month – I’ve done it after every sale was credited to my account and only recently just waited to pull it out.

    Your payment is redeemable in 2 ways:

    1. 1. Poshmark Credit

      Poshmark Credit is exactly what it sounds like, you can use the funds to purchase other items for sale in the app. As long as you have funds in your account, it’ll automatically take payment from there first before asking for a different payment method.

    2. 2. Direct Deposit

      You can have the funds transferred to your bank account using ACH. I have it sent to my checking account and once I put in a redemption, it’s in my bank account within 2 – 3 days.

To cash out – click ‘Redeemable’


Select method.

Enter the amount you want to redeem.


So there you have my extensive Poshmark guide for the average Jane! I feel like I pretty much covered all the basics, but if you have any questions feel free to ask!


Life Lessons Lifestyle

3 Things I Learned About Moving To A City Where I Didn’t Know Anyone

The Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge


A little over a year ago, I packed my car with a ton of clothes, my beloved Xbox and one of my best friends and made the 15 hour trek from Phoenix, Arizona to Dallas, Texas. It felt a little unreal when we cruised through Las Cruces and then it felt like FORever driving through West Texas.


how sad and empty my apt was the first month


I knew virtually no one moving here and had no clue if I would even like it. I lived out of an extended stay for 2 weeks trying to find a place to live. I had to wait a whole month for the movers after that to get my furniture – my living room had my Xbox, a gamer chair, and a 32 inch TV on the box the chair came in (see picture above). I got lost on the freeways more times than I can count and got frustrated not knowing my way around town. It has definitely been an adventure but I’ve grown to be quite fond of Dallas but I also learned a few things along the way.


Old Red Museum, Downtown Dallas

I learned a few things living in Texas, like:


  •  There’s a city called Texhoma on the TEXas-oklahOMA border. There’s also a city called Texarkana on the TEXas-ARKansas-louisaANA border. I was very amused when I learned this.
  • There are no mountains in Dallas. I thought the desert was flat, but I was wrong.
  • Whataburger is a thing. So is Dr. Pepper. Anything that was born in Texas is a thing. Mention a honey butter chicken biscuit to any Texan and watch their eyes light up. I dare you.
  • It is perfectly acceptable to say y’all in a professional setting. I have been tempted to, but I cannot bring myself to say it.
  • If you can, AVOID THE 635. It is never a good time.


Yeyo at Lake Carolyn, Las Colinas


I’ve been away from home for 10+ years now and living completely on my own for the last 3. Moving somewhere where you don’t know a soul is kind of terrifying. But it’s exciting at the same time. Here are 3 things I learned along the way:


1. Don’t be afraid to jump.

One of the most ‘traumatizing’ life events is moving. Moving to a new city and state where you don’t know a soul and doing this all ALONE magnifies the trauma. It’s terrifying. But it’s also exciting and liberating. The first few months were really lonely and the stark change and culture shock had me mildly depressed for a while. (Ask my sister, I called her bawling my eyes out and I had no legitimate reason why.) I questioned if it was even the right decision. But a year later I’m SO glad I moved. I found friends, I learned the freeways and I found my way.

Deep Ellum


2. But don’t make the leap when you’re unstable.

When I graduated college 4 years ago in Tucson, I had a ton of personal problems that I thought I could runaway from. Running away doesn’t make them disappear, it just defers them. I thought moving to a completely new state where nobody knew me would solve my problems. I was THIS CLOSE to moving to Chicago and then briefly (and ironically) almost got placed in Dallas. God knew me better than I knew myself and placed me in Phoenix. I remember thinking, ‘Ugh, I’ve been trying to get the hell away from here.’ Looking back, I think it was the best place for me to be at the time. My two best friends lived in Phoenix, I knew the area and I had a ton of friends to support me. In the emotionally fragile state that I was, I think the shock of somewhere new would’ve been overwhelming. 3 years later, I’m glad the cards fell the way that they did and I was in a much better place emotionally and even career-wise to make the move.

Truth & Alibi, Deep Ellum


3. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without my faith.

My first 4-5 months in Dallas was probably my loneliest. It didn’t help that I moved right before the holidays and literally spent Christmas alone on my couch in my apartment. I didn’t even have my dog, Yeyo, with me. Although it was a particularly ‘dry season,’ it was also one of my sweetest times with the Lord. It kind of breaks you down a little bit when you’re sleeping on an air mattress for a month because the movers take for-freaking-ever but it also makes you question yourself – What do you have when you have nothing? I knew that I had God and I wouldn’t have made it without that truth.

The Rustic, Uptown Dallas


I’ve been lucky to have a lot of support from my friends and family. Making a huge move on your own is tough, but it’s been so rewarding and I’m so grateful to have had the experience. It’s scary and you might ask your self all the what ifs – like what if I fail? But my darling, what if you fly?


The Big D Chapter

It has been 257 days since I left the desert to embark on the next chapter of my life in Dallas, a.k.a. “The Big D.” There was a time when I said I would never live in Texas and I never in a million years would I have imagined that a little island girl like me would end up in North Texas. But as the old adage goes, never say never.

Truthfully, the city has grown on me – the people, the weather, the Southern culture, and dare I say, hearing the word y’all. Even in the wake of the sniper shootings three weeks ago, I have to say that I have seen more love in this city than I have seen hate. Was it kind of scary? A little bit – especially since I work in the middle of downtown Dallas. It was a little odd being at the epicenter of it, but kind of cool in a weird way. See this snap from my office the day Obama and Bush came to town for the memorial:


It still blows my mind that this time last year I was day dreaming about what city I’d be in, stressing about when I’d move and if I’d even have a job. Now I’m finally settled in and starting to feel like this is my new home. I don’t know what the things year or even few months hold, but whatever happens, I’m ready.